INSTINCT

 When does the will to live finally become a horrible burden?

Mary Stanley has just made that decision and it goes against her...

Instinct!

RLJ

INSTINCT

(Arlington, Virginia)

I used to be Mary Stanley.

I was that woman 121 years ago... until I was turned at 26 years old.

But now I am something else, other than a human woman, that never dies.

And I battle that scary something deep and feral and mystical called... instinct.

I battle my instinct to kill on a daily basis.

In order for me to survive from day to night back to day again is...

To murder a live human male and then eat his still beating heart!

Over a century of this horrid life has taken a psychological toll on my mind.

Today, I fear that I might, indeed, be on my way to insanity.

I had a chance to kill my food tonight and for the first time I let him go.

Something in my dead soul just did not want to kill another man for food.

And now I am suffering as my body is reacting to the hunger that is overtaking me.

My hands are turning into demon claws!

My teeth are growing and the hair now fills my blouse.

I am reverting to the unknown something that I am inside, by the hunger.

Within minutes I will be a monster of all sharp claws and sharp teeth.

And I do not know who will die a horrible death when I am a mindless monster.

I can still hold the gun in my hand!

I purchased this Colt .45 many decades ago.

I keep one hallow point bullet in the chamber.

Tonight is the night I have to taste the silver as it penetrates my brain.

No more excuses in the name of instinct!

No more death and serial killer existence!

One bullet up my mouth through the palate and through the brain!

To hell with self-preserving instinct... a pull of the trigger...

(RLJ)